What does surprise me is that I'm finding it a challenge to do so, even when there are still obvious connections. Some have been easier than others.
For example, my friend Rui from college is someone I'm having great trouble with. I'm just not sure how to approach it. He's an interesting person, intelligent, engaging and easy to talk to. So why am I having trouble with it? I'm really not sure. I emailed him, he emailed back and expressed interest in reconnecting, yet I have had trouble coming up with anything from there.
With others, it has been much easier. Emily, a friend from high school (whom I had a massive crush on) has been much easier, I think part of it with her is that she has been keeping a blog which provides insight into her life, what she is currently thinking and provides an easy way to begin a conversation). I wonder how it has been for her in that respect?
What has been most surprising to me though is the slight trepidation I feel about it all. I'm actually nervous about it. Will they be interested in me? Did our friendships fade for a good reason? Do we have anything in common any more? Am I better off just letting good memories be good memories and not put myself in a position to be hurt by people whose friendship I valued?
5 comments:
A massive crush?! Really?!?
I think it is hard because we all have lives all over the place these days. It takes real effort to reconnect, and not everyone has the time. Hell, I don't have the time, but I figured you were worth it.
Yes of course. Attractive, medium height, dark haired, nice body and intelligent, well-spoken, interesting to talk to, and driven to succeed? Gee, why would I have a crush on you? Heck, my wife fits that same description pretty damned well.
You were the only woman I knew at the time who had a brain, a conscience, and an interesting personality to go along with them.
I appreciate the compliment and yes I agree the time issue is easily the biggest.
Chris, I totally get the crush. I have a crush on Emily too (of course mine is present tense and yours is past tense). :)
Oh you sum up just PERFECTLY how I feel about old friendships.
Through a variety of means---some happenstance, some social networks like Facebook---I've run across some old friends, people who were really important to me at one time and who (as the esteemed Emily says) get permanent space in a corner of my heart.
The initial connection was a big thrill and I felt huge joy and excitement at the prospect of reconnecting...but then it floundered.
In one case, I "owe" a communication, in the other I am "owed." I use "" because really, can it be a real obligation? Is it?
The desire to reconnect is there but as Emily says (and as I think I mentioned in my silver and gold post over the weekend) time and current demands are a big factor.
I'm not sure how to balance things in, nd I suspect the other people are in the same position.
The lady who was one of my best buddies in high school and a bit but lesser so in college (because we went to different schools in different states and got new lives built up and eventually neither of us went home) apologized profusely to me last time we spoke...so sorry she hasn't been in touch, so busy and I said, honestly, I understand, and never worry. We'll do what we can.
I am a little disappointed that it's like this because wow, how great to have these friends back...but that's a rosy view, eh, since who are we now? What has life made of us, what have we made of life? We are so much the same yet so different now.
Okay rambling over. Great post!
Julie
Using My Words
Emily was and is the best. Just a terrific person with a great talent. She has made re-connecting much easier and it has certainly been worthwhile.
I'm still having trouble a couple of weeks later with my other friend. It certainly does feel like an obligation, even though I initiated the contact. I really need to get on with it, I just need to find the right approach.
As an introvert, I am finding that I guard my alone time so jealously (there is precious little of it) that I'm actually hesitant to open the doors and avenues up to new and old friendships.
I'm glad to make the effort though. The fact is that I want to know the people I care about and I still care about many people that are no longer a part of my life.
Dudes -- I'm like, totally, blushing.
Post a Comment